I was awakened by my mobile ring at 4am last night.  It seldom rings at an inconvenient time of the night so I ignored and thought it was probably my nieces who forgot the time difference.  Since I promised to chat with them anytime this week.  After a couple of minutes I heard my sms signal tone so I got up with my eyes half-shut while groping for my mobile phone in the dark.  It was from my sister and the message struck my eyes and reflects my inner consciousness.  Then I found myself completely awake when tears rolled down my cheeks.  My favorite Aunty passed away without warning.  Leukemia.  Admitted to the hospital last Saturday and died last night.  Just three days after she was diagnosed with the disease.  Who would expect her early demise?  The chemotherapy was set.  But what went wrong?  Why her?

My voice was trembling when I rang my sister and the words I could only utter were, “how did it happen?” and “why?”

I always fear this kind of news.  Being far away from them would only make grieving and mourning difficult.  The acceptance of the fact and its process takes longer than when everybody’s around.  I am deeply affected and feel the need to talk to anyone else.  Aside from hubby,  I talked to some close work colleagues today about it.  Somehow, it eased the pain but not enough to deal with grief.

The thought of not seeing her again when I visit Davao is an undeniable reality, formidable to accept.  But until then, I cherish her memory being the most wonderful Aunt in the world.  I mourn for her.

“Gain and loss, birth and death are in the hands of God.”
~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba ~